Can you please correct my short paragraph?

Pretty good. You need to decide if this is in the present or past tense. If you start off with, "she built," then the next sentence needs to be, "She had," and vice versa. You have a lot of mismatched tenses, so think carefully about the present or the past. You also forgot to put in some periods and commas, "ill" should be "fill." "A young heart" - the A should be lowercase. You use a lot of metaphors, which are great, but it would be even better if you would elaborate a little more. Give specifics. What regrets? Why bitterness? What imperfections? Once you flesh this out a bit more, it will be really beautiful.